Welcome to Mass City

17 Nov 2009
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Being the huge Charles Hamilton fan that I am, this is good news. 1. He’s not dead. 2. He’s got new music??? OH SCH’NAPP!! I’m boosted.

//masspotential

301-605-4130

17 Nov 2009
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Mass = Concept King

Things I’ve written entire songs about:

iPod
bill collectors
toupees (metaphor)
not getting into VIP
being busy
chick flicks
Chris Stokes (metaphor)
Chuck E. Cheese (metaphor)
a hotel (metaphor)
having a crush on life
pause
dodgeball (metaphor)
fast food (metaphor)
“swag”
being sick (metaphor)
being nominated for a Grammy
being delusional
robbing a bank
high sodium (metaphor)
hating the club
imaginary women
ugly girls at the club
Koolaid points
Laurel High
meeting a girl at the library
not being hot
being an alien (metaphor)
me vs. myself
crushing on a female pimp
having a person assistant (metaphor)
my self-consciousness
my life as a dream
cheating on a female
being an army general (metaphor)
parts of an outfit arguing over who’s more important
parking in DC
procrastination
a recipe (metaphor)
self-esteem
religion
super hero’s
how to be a rapper
the weekend
how much I suck at rap
being a foreigner (metaphor)
asphyxiation (metaphor, kinda)

…lemme know if you wanna hear one of the songs: masspotential@gmail.com

//masspotential

3 Nov 2009
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1 note

Random Convo w/ the homie Ayana

me: If I put two monkey's in a closet, will the rice still boil? Cause if not, we'll have to take a later flight.
Ayana: what in the world bernard.
me: can you just answer the question? Theres no more money in my left shoe. Geez.
Ayana: well if you skip down the street with your left shoe untied while humming "oh Joanna" then all will become clear
Ayana: follow the path filled with Cheetos, not M&M's
me: Ahh! But what do I do about the wombat accountants? Last time thety stole all 6 of my 7's and all 8 of my 9's... it got so bad that I could no longer think about cardboard. Cardboard, Beatrice -- cardboard.
Ayana: why weren't you wearing your spacesuit when you went through the labrinth to Emerald City?
me: Because it had diamonds in the wrist and you KNOW how the Emeraldians feel about diamonds. I was SURE to be force fed Mocha Fraps until "Hey Arnold!" came on...
Ayana: how could i have forgotten about the diamonds? I thought the milk chocolate cow would have protected you and your tap shoes
me: Yeah, but he was still caught up in the Matrix with Carlton and the grandmother from "Who's The Boss"... NEXT TIME, I'm just gonna take RT 50 all the way to Monkey Island. Its much easier.
Ayana: that depends Bernard. sometimes people get caught up in the chocolate fountain.
me: Wait, they still have the chocolate fountain? I thought the Alligator Gang paid back their debt to Osiris. Wasn't the agreement to turn the fountain off? How long does it take a gang of alligators to collect 17 Koolaid points? Geez...
Ayana: I KNOW !!! imagine how the Pumpkin King felt !!!
me: RIP Pumpkin King. I hope his son, Pumpkin Prince is ok. Last time I saw him, he was strung out on pie...
Ayana: cannibals can never be trusted.
me: RIP Pie.
Ayana: now the battle begins.... munchkins vs oompa-loopa, no good can come of this midget war
me: I'm siding with the oompa-loompas, they have cool hair and they freestyle songs in unison as if it was rehearsed -- no freaking munchkin can do that... EVEN with the Narnia closet...
Ayana: but I heard they had a secret warrior rumored to be 5 feet
me: who?
Ayana: nobody knows, he's a myth really...the stuff dreams are made of
me: You mean Dream Man? He was my old landlord, but I get evicted for using too much soil when I ate breakfast... that guy was a stickler about soil
Ayana: no- it's not Dream Man- the oompa-loompas found his achilles heel... Sleepytime Tea, who knew? rumor has it that it's someone from the Land of Tra-La-La with shiny shoes, no laces, who be-boxes
me: word? Any one with Shiny Shoes is a dead man... no one has liked Shiny every since he made those remarks about pizza, he hadnt had any friends for a while. I hope this new "ringer" knows what he's doing
Ayana: time will tell my friend...time will tell...
me: Time will tell your friend what? Does Time know this guy who's hanging out with Shiny? I thought Time was out of town at meetings with corporate? and why would he tell your friend and not the rest of us? will your friend tell us?
Ayana: my friend's not a snitch, he plays his cards where they lay
me: thats a good friend. But that does not help us with the this Time situation. I bet you 7 rubles that Time doesn't even know...
me: does this silence mean that I out-random-ed you? I WIN! *fingers in the air like DW*
Ayana: yeah- I couldn't make anything more random then that. everything sounded to "normal" I concede this round Bernard...well played old chap...well played
me: lol, that was a rousing game. I doubted your randomness. Your a good sport...
Ayana: i won't be defeated so easy next time

7 Oct 2009
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qtip will always be a beast

5 Oct 2009
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Edible Arrangements FTSwindle!

Ayana: I think I told you this before...but we are inthe wrong line of business. you know who rakes in the money... Edible Arrangements. those jokers are like highway robbery !! next time I am just getting a bag of oranges...
me: hahhaha we can start a competing company
Ayana: YES- it's going to be called... Here's some Fruit- in a bag
me: "These Just Fruit Baskets" by Bernard and Beatrice and the logo is us standing next to the basket looking at it and shruging out shouders with "$" sacks surrounding us... its better to just be straight wit people..
Ayana: YES-
me: our motto "I mean, if you WANT to..."
Ayana: let me tell you- I just forked over $85 for a "bouquet" that only feeds 4-7 people !!
me: oh hell nah... I would got a box of Gushers and some apple juice boxes... you trippin...
Ayana: well it seemed reasonably priced when you first start the order !! that's how they get you. I got "got"
me: thats how 1-800-FLOWERS is! it starts out at 39.99 but then they be like "you gotta add this bear......oh and this vase...oh and this card!!" and the shit be 129.99 at check out... lol
Ayana: YES- like I had to get a "variety" of fruit...Their basic design starts with just bananas and pineapples in a bag...lol and don't even think about having some chocolate dipped strawberries !!
me: "Bernard and Beatrice's House of Fruit and Flowers and Stuff"... where out motto is "What's your credit card number again?"